25 Times Celebrities Said Something So Funny It Had To Be Written Down

They're always a bunch of situations in life that you impress the hell out of the people surrounding you. They are probably the first date with someone unbelievably brilliant, a job interview for becoming a crocodile caretaker, or your high school reunion. While you can completely impress these people with your physical qualities (through showing off your biceps and your deltoids will be a bit... kooky), a more balanced way would e to knock 'em stiff with your wit. But not everyone is blessed with sparkling personalities and brains that work at the speed of light, coming up with scintillating remarks on any provided topic. Sadly, there's a life raft for the rest of us, memorizing hilarious quotes by celebrities. All in all, some of them deserved their stardom exactly by being smarter, more humorous, and more clever than the median population. Celebrities Said Something funny all the time.
From well-versed scientists like Stephen Hawking and Albert Einstein to the most amazing Betty White and legendary writer Oscar Wilde, these clever quotes are worth memorizing and are sure shot to amuse someone. Keep scrolling down and enjoy! These are times when celebrities say funny things. 

#1 Betty White

Source: Gettyimages

“People say, ‘But Betty, Facebook is a great way to connect with old friends.’ Well, at my age, if I want to connect with old friends I need a Ouija board.”

#2 Stephen Hawking

Source: Gettyimages

“The downside of my celebrity is that I cannot go anywhere in the world without being recognized. It is not enough for me to wear dark sunglasses and a wig. The wheelchair gives me away.”

#3 Dolly Parton

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“I’m not offended by blonde jokes because I know I’m not dumb…and I also know that I’m not blonde.”

#4 Jim Carey

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“Behind every great man is a woman rolling her eyes.”

#5 Tom Clancy

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“The difference between fiction and reality? Fiction has to make sense.”

#6 Jack Handey

Source: Alibi

“Before you criticize someone, you should walk a mile in their shoes. That way when you criticize them, you are a mile away from them and you have their shoes.”

#7 Albert Einstein

Source: Gettyimages

“Two things are infinite: the universe and human stupidity; and I’m not sure about the universe.”

#8 George Melly

Source: Gettyimages

When Mick Jagger insisted that his wrinkles were actually laugh lines, jazz singer George Melly replied, “Surely nothing could be that funny.”

#9 Jack Whitehall

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“I’m sure wherever my Dad is, he’s looking down on us. He’s not dead, just very condescending.”

#10 Will Ferrell

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“Before you marry a person, you should first make them use a computer with slow Internet to see who they really are.”

#11 Michelle Obama

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“He’s always asking: ‘Is that new? I haven’t seen that before.’ It’s like, Why don’t you mind your own business? Solve world hunger. Get out of my closet.”

#12 Bob Hope

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"A bank is a place that will lend you money if you can prove that you don’t need it.”

#13 Oscar Wilde

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"The man who says his wife can't take a joke, forgets that she took him."

#14 Greg Tamblyn

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“Friends are people who know you really well and like you anyway.“

#15 Mark Twain

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“There is nothing so annoying as to have two people go right on talking when you're interrupting."

#16 Isaac Asimov

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“People who think they know everything are a great annoyance to those of us who do.”

#17 Winnie the Pooh

Source: Imdb

“People say nothing is impossible, but I do nothing every day.”

#18 Terry Pratchett

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"The trouble with having an open mind is that people will insist on coming along and trying to put things in it."

#19 Steven Wright

Source: Overthemonster

“To steal ideas from one person is plagiarism; to steal from many is research.”

#20 Chris Rock

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"When you meet somebody for the first time, you’re not meeting them. You’re meeting their representative."

#21 Darynda Jones

Source: Darynda

“Life isn't a fairy tale. If you lose a shoe at midnight, you're drunk.”

#22 Douglas Adams

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“I love deadlines, I like the whooshing sound they make as they fly by.”

#23 Paula Poundstone

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“Adults are always asking children what they want to be when they grow up because they’re looking for ideas.”

#24 Zach Galifianakis

Source: Emmys

“The word abbreviation sure is long for what it means.”

#25 Stephen Fry

Source: Gettyimages

"I don't need you to remind me of my age. I have a bladder to do that for me."