Mom Asks Mother-In-Law Not To Tell Her Son She's Sad When He Declines Her Hug, Stirs A Debate Among Redditors

Leona Martinez
Nov 16, 2023
Nov 16, 2023

On the r/AmItheA**hole subreddit, a mom recently shared a story about her 3-year-old refusing a hug from her future mother-in-law (FMIL). The mom then texted the MIL, asking her not to tell the child she'd be sad if he didn't hug her. This sparked a discussion among Redditors.

Some supported her, emphasizing the importance of respecting the child's choices, while others thought it was blown out of proportion and suggested an in-person talk.

Things took a turn when FMIL criticized text conversations, leading to a discussion on communication styles. Some sympathized with the mom's challenges, while others criticized her for not respecting FMIL's preference for in-person talks.

Curious about the details of what happened? Scroll down to read the entire story and the opinions of Redditors in the comments.

Source: mom.com (not the actual photo)

Here's the full story:

Accomplished-Disk746's question

Source: Accomplished-Disk746

OP explained to her fiancé's mom that they're teaching their son about personal boundaries

Source: Accomplished-Disk746

OP reiterated her stance on not wanting her kids to feel guilty or responsible for others' feelings

Source: Accomplished-Disk746

OP asked her future mother-in-law to avoid specific comments towards the children

Source: Accomplished-Disk746

FMIL expressed to the fiancé that she was unaware of any intentional harm and would further distance herself if needed

Source: Accomplished-Disk746

OP messaged her future mother-in-law about boundaries and expressed difficulty with in-person conversations

Source: Accomplished-Disk746

Source: dreamstime.com (not the actual photo)

The commenter believes OP was in the wrong for texting about respecting boundaries while not doing the same when the mother-in-law expressed a preference for in-person conversations

Source: Such-Awareness-2960

The commenter agrees OP was in the wrong

Source: theferal1

OP was in the wrong for being upset that the mother-in-law expressed her feelings after the child initially refused a hug

Source: Unhappy_Ad7172

OP's appropriate reply should have been a simple acknowledgment like "Okay. Talk soon!"

Source: Content-Purple9092

The initial message was an overreaction to the grandmother expressing happiness about the child choosing to hug her

Source: facinationstreet

The commenter says "everyone sucks here"

Source: Particular_Title42

It was normal when the grandmother asked for a hug and made an innocent comment

Source: IllustriousCorgi9877

This commenter supports the OP, stating that an in-person conversation was unnecessary

Source: terpischore761

This Redditor agrees that the OP was not wrong and the mother-in-law's aversion to texting may be to avoid accountability

Source: MutedCommittee1970

This person suggests a strategy to address the issue in person by reassuring the child that he doesn't have to hug someone just because they'll be sad

Source: Wonderful-Matter334

This Redditor also supports the OP

Source: legolaswashot

What are your thoughts on this mom's approach to setting boundaries with her child and addressing it with her future mother-in-law? Have you encountered similar situations, and how did you handle them? Share your insights and experiences in the comments below!

Mom Asks Mother-In-Law Not To Tell Her Son She's Sad When He Declines Her Hug, Stirs A Debate Among Redditors

Here's the full story:

OP explained to her fiancé's mom that they're teaching their son about personal boundaries

OP reiterated her stance on not wanting her kids to feel guilty or responsible for others' feelings

OP asked her future mother-in-law to avoid specific comments towards the children

FMIL expressed to the fiancé that she was unaware of any intentional harm and would further distance herself if needed

OP messaged her future mother-in-law about boundaries and expressed difficulty with in-person conversations

The commenter believes OP was in the wrong for texting about respecting boundaries while not doing the same when the mother-in-law expressed a preference for in-person conversations

The commenter agrees OP was in the wrong

OP was in the wrong for being upset that the mother-in-law expressed her feelings after the child initially refused a hug

OP's appropriate reply should have been a simple acknowledgment like "Okay. Talk soon!"

The initial message was an overreaction to the grandmother expressing happiness about the child choosing to hug her

The commenter says "everyone sucks here"

It was normal when the grandmother asked for a hug and made an innocent comment

This commenter supports the OP, stating that an in-person conversation was unnecessary

This Redditor agrees that the OP was not wrong and the mother-in-law's aversion to texting may be to avoid accountability

This person suggests a strategy to address the issue in person by reassuring the child that he doesn't have to hug someone just because they'll be sad

This Redditor also supports the OP

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