Moana And 15 Things That Don't Make Sense, But We All Ignore Cause It’s Still Our Fave
Disney, oh Disney! They keep churning out quality princess tales and Moana is no exception. It's a top-notch flick that can easily hold its own against any other Disney movie out there. But let's face it, like most Disney movies, Moana has some elements that are just plain wrong.
I mean, Disney's got this magical ability to make us forget about logic and reason by drowning us in fantasy. We get so swept up in the adventure and the catchy tunes that we overlook the questionable parts of the story. Take The Hunchback of Notre Dame for example. It's got a killer soundtrack, but it took me over a decade to realize that Frollo's creepy song was about lusting after Esmeralda. Yikes.
Now, Moana's faults may not be as sinister, but they're still worth examining. As Disney enthusiasts, it's practically our duty to turn a blind eye to any issues with their Movies, After all, they're made for kids and we're supposed to just enjoy the ride. But not today, my friends. Today, we're going to scrutinize Moana and face its flaws head-on. So if you're ready to stop ignoring the problems with this movie for just a minute, keep reading.
I mean, he was right there when Te Fiti turned into Te Ka, and she's not exactly small. She's a freaking island-person! How did he miss that transformation?
And let's not even get into the implications of Maui doing his business in the ocean. Yikes.
But alas, he's the obligatory animal sidekick, so of course, he somehow manages to make it to the end alive. Lucky him.
For all the ocean knew, Moana could have accidentally swallowed the darn thing. Maybe the ocean needs a better HR department.
So, when Moana suggests finding food elsewhere, her father, Chief Tui, throws a fit. I mean, seriously, what kind of leader stands by while his people starve? Did he have a secret stash of Spam that he was hoarding?
However, on Moana's first voyage, it throws her overboard, traps her foot, and tosses her around like a ragdoll. Thanks for the memories, ocean! Maybe next time, give her a heads up before you decide to play rough.
But hey, no sweat for our fearless heroine. She just takes a deep breath and dives all the way down to retrieve it. Who needs scuba gear when you've got a mighty pair of lungs, right? Moana is a true underwater superhero!
Did he get a faulty hook from the gods or is Te Ka just that much of a badass? I need answers, people!
Talk about a perfect storm, right? Was the ocean trying to help Moana or was it just messing with her like a prankster? That’s usually not how a storm works!
Maybe he just needed a confidence boost or some extra practice time. Hey, even demigods need to brush up on their skills sometimes.
But when Moana returned to her island, I was half expecting a spit roast with Pua as the main course. The island had no food source after the fish disappeared and the coconuts spoiled. But thankfully, Pua survived to squeal another day.
Well, it turns out that Moana didn't need Maui as much as she thought she did. In the end, she did it all herself. I mean, sure, Maui taught her some sailing tricks, but was he really necessary? Moana even managed to outsmart Te Ka without Maui's help. Maybe she should have just gone on this adventure solo from the beginning!
I mean, Disney's got this magical ability to make us forget about logic and reason by drowning us in fantasy. We get so swept up in the adventure and the catchy tunes that we overlook the questionable parts of the story. Take The Hunchback of Notre Dame for example. It's got a killer soundtrack, but it took me over a decade to realize that Frollo's creepy song was about lusting after Esmeralda. Yikes.
Now, Moana's faults may not be as sinister, but they're still worth examining. As Disney enthusiasts, it's practically our duty to turn a blind eye to any issues with their Movies, After all, they're made for kids and we're supposed to just enjoy the ride. But not today, my friends. Today, we're going to scrutinize Moana and face its flaws head-on. So if you're ready to stop ignoring the problems with this movie for just a minute, keep reading.
#1 Te Fiti Transforms To Te Ka
Source: Walt Disney Pictures
I mean, he was right there when Te Fiti turned into Te Ka, and she's not exactly small. She's a freaking island-person! How did he miss that transformation?
#2 A Living Ocean
Source: Walt Disney Pictures
And let's not even get into the implications of Maui doing his business in the ocean. Yikes.
#3 Hei Hei's Improbable Survival
Source: Walt Disney Pictures
But alas, he's the obligatory animal sidekick, so of course, he somehow manages to make it to the end alive. Lucky him.
#4 The Ocean Chose A Toddler
Source: Walt Disney Pictures
For all the ocean knew, Moana could have accidentally swallowed the darn thing. Maybe the ocean needs a better HR department.
#5 Tui, the Terrible Chief
Source: Walt Disney Pictures
So, when Moana suggests finding food elsewhere, her father, Chief Tui, throws a fit. I mean, seriously, what kind of leader stands by while his people starve? Did he have a secret stash of Spam that he was hoarding?
#6 Weird Song
Source: Walt Disney Pictures
#7 Where Did The Hook Go?
Source: Walt Disney Pictures
#8 Er Thanks, Ocean
Source: Walt Disney Pictures
However, on Moana's first voyage, it throws her overboard, traps her foot, and tosses her around like a ragdoll. Thanks for the memories, ocean! Maybe next time, give her a heads up before you decide to play rough.
#9 Easily Fooled Tamatoa
Source: Walt Disney Pictures
#10 A Mighty Pair Of Lungs
Source: Walt Disney Pictures
But hey, no sweat for our fearless heroine. She just takes a deep breath and dives all the way down to retrieve it. Who needs scuba gear when you've got a mighty pair of lungs, right? Moana is a true underwater superhero!
#11 A Gift From The Gods
Source: Walt Disney Pictures
Did he get a faulty hook from the gods or is Te Ka just that much of a badass? I need answers, people!
#12 The Perfect-timing Storm
Source: Walt Disney Pictures
Talk about a perfect storm, right? Was the ocean trying to help Moana or was it just messing with her like a prankster? That’s usually not how a storm works!
#13 Why Can't Maui Use His Hook?
Source: Walt Disney Pictures
Maybe he just needed a confidence boost or some extra practice time. Hey, even demigods need to brush up on their skills sometimes.
#14 Pua The Pig
Source: Walt Disney Pictures
But when Moana returned to her island, I was half expecting a spit roast with Pua as the main course. The island had no food source after the fish disappeared and the coconuts spoiled. But thankfully, Pua survived to squeal another day.
#15 Who Needs Maui?
Source: Walt Disney Pictures
Well, it turns out that Moana didn't need Maui as much as she thought she did. In the end, she did it all herself. I mean, sure, Maui taught her some sailing tricks, but was he really necessary? Moana even managed to outsmart Te Ka without Maui's help. Maybe she should have just gone on this adventure solo from the beginning!
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