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  1. 'AITAH for telling my husband's affair baby's family to either come get the kid or I'm calling CPS.'
  2. Expert Opinion:
  3. Here's what Redditors had to say:

AITAH for telling my husband's affair baby's family to either come get the kid or I'm calling CPS.

Forgiveness is one thing, but being expected to clean up the mess of an affair is another. OP (53F) had already accepted her husband Roger’s (47M) infidelity, but when his much-younger mistress abandoned their newborn at his workplace, she drew the line—the baby was not her responsibility.
Then fate intervened. Roger suffered a heart attack, leaving him unable to care for his child, and OP unwillingly stepped in for a time. But enough was enough. She contacted the baby’s maternal grandparents, set a deadline, and walked away from both the child and Roger. Now, her soon-to-be ex, their adult kids, and even some friends think she’s heartless. But is she?


'AITAH for telling my husband's affair baby's family to either come get the kid or I'm calling CPS.'

















Expert Opinion:

Why OP’s Decision Was Justified

Blended families and infidelity babies are complicated enough—but forcing an unwilling person into caregiving is a whole different issue. OP’s decision to walk away isn’t just about bitterness; it’s about personal boundaries and emotional well-being.

Dr. Carol Gilligan, a renowned psychologist, explains that women are often expected to be self-sacrificing caregivers, even when it comes at the cost of their mental health. Society tends to shame women for refusing to "do the right thing"—even if that thing is completely unreasonable.

In this case, OP had every right to remove herself from a situation she never signed up for. She didn’t marry a man to become a full-time caregiver to his affair baby. She was clear from the start: she wanted nothing to do with this child. Expecting her to step up now—when the actual parents are nowhere to be found—is absurd.

The Real Responsibility Lies Elsewhere

Dr. Laura Markham, a family therapist, states that a child's well-being should not rest on the shoulders of an unwilling party. Studies show that children raised by resentful caregivers often develop attachment issues due to feeling unwanted.

So, who should be responsible for this baby?

  1. Roger, the father, who knew this day was coming.
  2. The mother, who conveniently disappeared to Spain.
  3. The baby’s maternal grandparents, who, despite their scolding, were clearly the best option.

OP stepping in might have actually done more harm than good for the child, as raising someone else’s affair baby out of obligation can create long-term resentment and emotional neglect.

What Could Have Been Done Differently?

Instead of expecting OP to take over, Roger should have:

  1. Arranged for alternate caregivers immediately after his health crisis.
  2. Legally established guardianship with the child’s maternal family from the start.
  3. Not expected his betrayed wife to fix his mistakes.

OP, by drawing a clear boundary, actually did what was best for everyone—even if it didn’t seem like it at the time.

Here's what Redditors had to say:






































At the end of the day, OP was asked to sacrifice her future, well-being, and sanity for a man who had already broken her trust. The expectation that she should stand by him despite his betrayal, his child, and his complete lack of accountability is beyond unreasonable. She gave more than she owed, and now she’s choosing herself.

But what do you think? Should OP have stuck around out of sheer compassion, or was she right to walk away? Share your thoughts below!
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