15 Most Hilarious Things Celebrities Have Said About Marriage

Whether you’re a couple of one-year or one-decade marriage, the old saying remains true: marriage is hard work. It takes a lot of patience, love, and tears. But if you marry the right person, your every day turns into laughter and happiness, despite all the obstacles and difficulties you two are coping with.
We love to hear about others’ marriage stories as they inspire us to love and sacrifice for our love. While some relationship problems should be solved privately behind closed doors, there are funny and sweet moments couples can share with others to make people around them believe in marital bliss.
Recently, we’ve been turning to funny famous couples who comfortably let the world know about the silly yet sweet events happening around their married life. The following 15 hilarious stories, which were shared by celebrity husbands and wives, will make you realize that marriage is actually not that complicated. Scroll down to check them out!

#1 Chris Rock

Source: chrisrock/Instagram

Is it a couple of dates when two couples gather and hang out together? Or is it, as Chris Rock put it in his Never Scared special, actually a husband playdate? “Fellas, once you get married, you become your wife's pet. Because women like to get their husbands together, who don't even know each other, and have like a grown-man play date. Put you in a room with some other married mother---ers, and go, 'He likes baseball just like you.' Then you're in some room with some f---ing stranger going, 'I like baseball.'"

#2 Justin Timberlake

Source: justintimberlake/Instagram

Jessica Biel and Justin Timberlake have been together as spouses for nearly a decade, and he has figured out the recipe for a successful marriage. He once said in a press conference, "We have a couple of rules in our relationship. The first rule is that I make her feel like she's getting everything. The second rule is that I actually do let her have her own way in everything. And so far, it's working."

#3 Steve Carell

Source: Jerod Harris/WireImage

Steve Carell and his wife, actress Nancy Carell, collaborate frequently, and they have a terrific idea for keeping their marriage standing the test of time. First, get "legally separated," he said, "so that's how that works, but also don't be afraid to try sedation. We're so relaxed around each other now."

#4 Gwyneth Paltrow

Source: gwynethpaltrow/Instagram

Gwyneth Paltrow once claimed that the secret to a long-lasting marriage may be as easy as having two people being grumpy at the same time. She revealed, "I asked my dad once, 'How did you and Mum stay married for 33 years?' And he said, 'Well, we never wanted to get divorced at the same time.'"

#5 Amy Schumer

Source: amyschumer/Instagram

A balanced, healthy sex life is one of the most important keys to a lasting marriage, but Amy Schumer is wittily sincere about how sex frequency can vary over time. She joked about her bedroom habits with her husband Chris Fischer on the Comedy Gold Minds podcast with Kevin Hart: “We probably have sex every seven to 10 days. And we do it and we go, 'God, that's so great. Like we need to do that more.' And then we don't do it again for another seven to 10 days."

#6 Blake Lively

Source: Metro UK

Many couples, including famous ones, have experienced significant changes as a result of the Covid-19 pandemic. In early 2021, Blake Lively hilariously joked that husbands are responsible for numerous jobs during the pandemic, such as hair support, by posting this behind-the-scenes video with a peaceful caption, "That time I f###ed my hairdresser."

#7 Jim Gaffigan

Source: Billboard

Jim Gaffigan, an actor, and comedian, usually talk about amusing observations he has about marriage and family life, including the fact that we all sometimes sneakily imagine dismissing our spouses! "I'm happily married but I would say about once a week, I catch my wife giving me a look like, 'I'm going to have to let you go.'" he joked.

#8 Ryan Reynolds

Source: vancityreynolds/Instagram

The arrival of a newborn is what changes a marriage most quickly and significantly. Ryan Reynolds, who has been married to Blake Lively for ten years, joked with David Letterman about how having a baby affects the pecking order in his marriage, saying: "I used to say to Blake, 'I would take a bullet for you. I could never love anything as much as I love you.' I would say that to my wife. And the second I looked in that baby's eyes, I knew in that exact moment that if we were ever under attack, I would use my wife as a human shield to protect that baby."

#9 Chrissy Teigen

Chrissy Teigen and John Legend's marriage is one of our favorites since they never appear to take themselves too seriously. We have to admire Chrissy's willingness to (jokingly) screw over John when it comes to making more beneficial business deals in this influential couple relationship.

#10 John Legend

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John Legend doesn’t seem to be the one who lets his wife crack a joke about their marriage alone! We all have quirky behaviors that drive our spouses insane, and Chrissy doesn't appear to be the most attentive moviegoer.

#11 David Bowie

Source: Stan Honda, AFP/Getty Images

David Bowie, a permanent figurehead of rock-star coolness, was also a huge fan of his stunning wife, Iman. He once made late-night comedian Conan O'Brien laugh by dryly sharing, "You would think that a rock star being married to a supermodel would be one of the greatest things in the world. It is."

#12 Kristen Bell

Kristen Bell and Dax Shepard have been married for more than a decade and have always been forthright about the less glamorous aspects of marriage and parenting. We can't believe she's looking forward to seeing his baby diapering talents pay off for her potential future adult diaper requirements!

#13 Cameron Esposito

Source: cameronesposito/Twitter

Cameron Esposito, a comedian also an actor understands that marriage is definitely about love, but there is also a clear benefit for people who are prone to misplacing items such as keys or glasses. We're not saying we'd marry only for help finding our glasses, but we're also not saying we wouldn't.

#14 Andy Richter

Source: AndyRichter/Twitter

Any marriage has to go through ups and downs. But, as comedian and actor Andy Richter pointed out in 2015, “the hardest times are probably when we hate each other!” Unfortunately, Andy and his wife split a few years after this funny tweet, so perhaps this wasn't as much of a joke as he intended.

#15 Ruth Bader Ginsburg

Source: ruthbaderg/Instagram

The late great Ruth Bader Ginsburg is not the first person that pops into our minds when it comes to amusing marriage quotes. But we have to admire her for revealing that her mother-in-law gave her earplugs during her wedding, along with the helpful advice, "In every good marriage, it pays sometimes to be a little deaf." Both amusing and useful!

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