30 Weird Things Parents Have Told Their Kids, According To The Parents Themselves

Raising kids is one of the toughest and most rewarding jobs in the world, yet it's also the one for which you might feel the least prepared. Because there are many twists and turns during parenting, you sometimes feel overwhelmed. Especially children are always curious about the world around them, therefore, they frequently ask weird and difficult questions that put their parents in awkward situations. At that moment, moms and dads can't help but tell weird things to their kids.
One woman developed a blog called WTF Parenting Quotes in an effort to record all of the odd things she says to her kid. And other parents love this blog so much. Some of the sharings are so amusing that it would be a pity for you to miss them. As a result, we have compiled a list of 30 weird things parents have told their kids. Scroll down to check them out for yourself now. These sharings have cracked us up, they will make you burst out laughing too.
If you want more, visit our previous articles about 16 funny Parenting Tweets That Will Have You Saying “So True” to read. I will leave the link here.

#1.

‘Having Superman printed pajamas will not enable you to fly, my son. Please sleep on the bottom bunk.’
'Stop licking the eggs and put them back in the fridge.’
After scolding then-3-year old for heading outside in his pajamas to play ('You don’t go outside in your pajamas, young man!’), I found him stark naked on his tricyle, serenely pedalling up and down the driveway. 'Me got no jamas on mummy!’ he proudly told me.
Ed. Note: I love this. Kid definitely is a future lawyer.

Source: wtfparentingquotes

#2.

"No, do NOT lick the cat."

Source: wtfparentingquotes

#3.

"No, your teeth are not asleep. Go brush them."

Source: wtfparentingquotes

#4.

"I don’t think you’re old enough to be having a mid-life crisis."

Source: wtfparentingquotes

#5.

"No, hippies are not baby hippos. Yes, I’m sure."

Source: wtfparentingquotes

#6.

I asked my 10 year old son what he wanted on pizza one night. He replied, “well, Mom, I’m not a virgin.“ I stopped cold and said, “what?” He said, “ I want meat, I’m not a virgin.” “Oh, you’re not a vegetarian.“ as I exhaled.

Source: wtfparentingquotes

#7.

"Go ahead. Walk to Australia. Let me know how that goes."

Source: wtfparentingquotes

#8.

"Grandpa is not a race car.

Grandpa’s wheelchair is not a toy.

You may not “drive Grandpa.”"

Source: wtfparentingquotes

#9.

"I don’t think the cat sneaks out at night and rides your skateboard."

Source: wtfparentingquotes

#10.

"No no no no. No ‘pants off dance off’ at the wedding."

Source: wtfparentingquotes

#11.

"That’s good that you love the neighbor’s cat, but no, you can’t marry him."

Source: wtfparentingquotes

#12.

"How can you not know why your tongue is blue? Your tongue was with you all day today, wasn’t it?"

Source: wtfparentingquotes

#13.

Submission: “I am sorry the baby keeps biting you but perhaps if you stop putting your fingers in her mouth she will stop biting you.”

….Charlie? Is that you??

Source: wtfparentingquotes

#14.

"But how did your underwear get stuck in the bathroom window in the first place?"

Source: wtfparentingquotes

#15.

"You are not an M&M. Put your clothes back on."

Source: wtfparentingquotes

#16.

"I am not going to get in a car crash just to cure your hiccups. That is crazy talk."

Source: wtfparentingquotes

#17.

"I am about 99.9% sure you are not getting a chainsaw for Christmas."

Don’t lose all hope. That leaves a .1 chance you are.

Source: wtfparentingquotes

#18.

"No no no, the police do not need your help ‘investigating.’ Get back here!!"

All kinds of trouble at the park tonight.

Source: wtfparentingquotes

#19.

"I’m sorry, I didn’t realize you were in ‘stealth mode.’"

Ruined my ninja’s self esteem today.

Source: wtfparentingquotes

#20.

"Why is there an axe on the floor?"

Darn Vikings never pick up after themselves.

Source: wtfparentingquotes

#21.

Whose underwear is on your head? (It wasn’t his, and it wasn’t clean and his brother was hiding and giggling)

It wasn’t clean. IT WASN’T CLEAN. brb, vomiting.

Source: wtfparentingquotes

#22.

"No, I don’t think throwing alligators at people is a good idea."

Source: wtfparentingquotes

#23.

"I’m sure Grandpa could go to England and not kill anyone."

Grandpa is an Irishman, in case you couldn’t tell.

Source: wtfparentingquotes

#24.

Anonymous asked: No, Gatorade in your eyes will not make you see things faster

That lightning bolt sure confuses things!

Source: wtfparentingquotes

#25.

"Why are you carrying the cat into the bathroom?"

Source: wtfparentingquotes

#26.

NO! Don’t pull that pin!

Yelled at my almost 2yr old as he approached a gas station fire extinguisher with a devious look in his eye.

Source: wtfparentingquotes

#27.

“Stop eating your soup with your fingers!” (To my 10 year old)

Source: wtfparentingquotes

#28.

"Put the guns down and brush your teeth."

Source: wtfparentingquotes

#29.

"They’re called ‘discharge papers’ not 'dementor papers.’"

He was reading Harry Potter while waiting for his x Rays and got confused.

Source: wtfparentingquotes

#30.

"You can growl at me all you want, but you still have to tie your shoes."

Source: wtfparentingquotes

Below are 30 weird things parents have told their kids. If you have any opinions or other weird things parents have told their kids that you know, don't hesitate to share them with us in the comments.