Saying you never lie is a falsehood in and of itself. It is virtually impossible to live a full life without occasionally telling a minor untruth. The act that some individuals have to put on to keep up with a tall narrative can be really funny when you're in on it, whether it's a white lie or a really huge falsehood.
The Reddit community members shared their most hilarious or frightening tales of having to maintain a lie and the extreme measures they had to take to maintain the farce. Without further ado, let's get started with some tall tales and see where the previously told lies go. This is a terrific reminder to us all that lies are generally not worth it.
We lived next to a forest so I go into forest look for the biggest, heaviest branch I could find. I pulled that f****r out of woods and I gently put into the the gaping hole in the door. Looked totally legit.
Then mom came home. She took one look at it and slapped me in the face.
My grandmother was always incredibly vague about when she was born, how old she was when she came to the USA, how old she was when she was married, etc. Even her birthday was vague: In the old country (Eastern Europe) birthdays weren’t such a big deal, so her parents chose an approximate birthday for her visa. (NB: Her parents chose Jan 15, which later became MLK day. She was pretty racist, so we’d always mess with her on her birthday by wishing her a happy MLK day.)
Anyway, on one of her birthdays she said to my mom “You know, you don’t think of yourself as old, and then you get to be my age, and you have to admit it – you’re old!”
My mom thought this was a strange thing to say for someone she thought was turning 77.“Mom, how old *are* you?”
“How old do you *think* I am?”
“Now I think you’re 80.”
My grandmother did not confirm or deny my mother’s guess.Years later, when my grandfather died, we cleaned out his desk and found her old passport. Indeed, we found out that she came to this country in 1921 and lied about her age ever since.
In fact, she kept it up with everyone outside the family. She moved to an assisted living facility closer to my immediate family when she was in her mid-90s and never told anyone at the facility her age. Every month the kitchen would bring out a cake for people with a birthday that month – the oldest person with a birthday that month got to blow out the candles. They would ask “Who has a birthday this month?” A lot of hands would go up.“Who has a birthday this month and is over 80?” A couple of hands would go down.“Over 85?” A few more hands would go down.“Over 90?” A bunch more hands lost.Et cetera. My grandma? She never raised her hand.We blew her cover with a 100th birthday party. Even her hairdresser had no idea.
She died at 103, outliving her cardiologist (who was 40+ years her junior) by six years.
She also lied about making gefilte fish. Then one day my mom found a jar of store-bought gefilte fish hidden in the laundry room behind boxes of detergent. When my mom brought up the jar and silently pointed to it, grandma exclaimed, “You never noticed!”
We’ve been married almost 10 years.
* In 2008, my sister and her then-husband announced they were pregnant. We were happy for her, but as the months went along, things stopped adding up. She was gaining weight, but there was literally no baby bump of any kind. To be fair, she was and still is a bigger woman, so we gave her the benefit of the doubt.
Then, she’d say she had an ultrasound or some other pregnancy-based appointment. Thing is, whenever I or anyone else would ask to see the ultrasound pictures, she always had some sort of excuse. Either, “the doctors wouldn’t let me have them,” “I spilled water on them and have to get new copies,” etc. Around the time she *should* have delivered the baby, there was still no baby bump of any kind.
Long story short, she eventually admitted she and her husband made up the entire pregnancy and she wasn’t pregnant. She was in a bad place mentally and faked the pregnancy for sympathy, attention, etc. It was at that moment that I stopped believing anything she said unless there was some sort of verifiable proof, which leads me to…
* 2009, when she again began gaining weight. This time around, she even began to develop a baby bump. However, she and her husband swore there was no pregnancy. Despite the growing bump, there were no check-ups, ultrasounds or anything of the nature scheduled.
So imagine my surprise when in March, I get a phone call from my dad saying she had given birth to a son. I was flabbergasted because once more she lied through her teeth for nine months but this time around it was a total 180 in nature.
Unfortunately, her son was born with autism and to this day, I sometimes wonder if this is because she didn’t go to any sort of OBGYN check-ins. On the other hand, I feel she did take every precaution this time around and was just given a bad hand.
To add insult to injury, she actually appeared on an episode of TLC’s *I Didn’t Know I was Pregnant.* When she told me the producers accepted her story, she asked if I’d be willing to be on camera for interview soundbites. I flat-out refused and told her to not involve me in any of it, because I am fairly certain she indeed knew she was pregnant.
It goes without saying that my sister and I no longer have the best of relationships.
The Reddit community members shared their most hilarious or frightening tales of having to maintain a lie and the extreme measures they had to take to maintain the farce. Without further ado, let's get started with some tall tales and see where the previously told lies go. This is a terrific reminder to us all that lies are generally not worth it.
#1
Source: MikeSizemore, Adam Bartoszewicz
My partner and I pretended to be vegetarian for 10 years to avoid her aunt’s awful cooking. By the end we were actually vegetarian.#2
Source: Drife1994, beigethreads
#3
Source: Ardet_Nec_Consumitur, Greta Hoffman
We lived next to a forest so I go into forest look for the biggest, heaviest branch I could find. I pulled that f****r out of woods and I gently put into the the gaping hole in the door. Looked totally legit.
Then mom came home. She took one look at it and slapped me in the face.
#4
Source: eric02138, Danie Franco
My grandmother was always incredibly vague about when she was born, how old she was when she came to the USA, how old she was when she was married, etc. Even her birthday was vague: In the old country (Eastern Europe) birthdays weren’t such a big deal, so her parents chose an approximate birthday for her visa. (NB: Her parents chose Jan 15, which later became MLK day. She was pretty racist, so we’d always mess with her on her birthday by wishing her a happy MLK day.)
Anyway, on one of her birthdays she said to my mom “You know, you don’t think of yourself as old, and then you get to be my age, and you have to admit it – you’re old!”
My mom thought this was a strange thing to say for someone she thought was turning 77.“Mom, how old *are* you?”
“How old do you *think* I am?”
“Now I think you’re 80.”
My grandmother did not confirm or deny my mother’s guess.Years later, when my grandfather died, we cleaned out his desk and found her old passport. Indeed, we found out that she came to this country in 1921 and lied about her age ever since.
In fact, she kept it up with everyone outside the family. She moved to an assisted living facility closer to my immediate family when she was in her mid-90s and never told anyone at the facility her age. Every month the kitchen would bring out a cake for people with a birthday that month – the oldest person with a birthday that month got to blow out the candles. They would ask “Who has a birthday this month?” A lot of hands would go up.“Who has a birthday this month and is over 80?” A couple of hands would go down.“Over 85?” A few more hands would go down.“Over 90?” A bunch more hands lost.Et cetera. My grandma? She never raised her hand.We blew her cover with a 100th birthday party. Even her hairdresser had no idea.
She died at 103, outliving her cardiologist (who was 40+ years her junior) by six years.
She also lied about making gefilte fish. Then one day my mom found a jar of store-bought gefilte fish hidden in the laundry room behind boxes of detergent. When my mom brought up the jar and silently pointed to it, grandma exclaimed, “You never noticed!”
#5
Source: Is_my_work_account, dvatri
We’ve been married almost 10 years.
#6
Source: snakesRcool, Karolina Grabowska
#7
Not me, but my sister. Two particular accounts come to mind:
* In 2008, my sister and her then-husband announced they were pregnant. We were happy for her, but as the months went along, things stopped adding up. She was gaining weight, but there was literally no baby bump of any kind. To be fair, she was and still is a bigger woman, so we gave her the benefit of the doubt.
Then, she’d say she had an ultrasound or some other pregnancy-based appointment. Thing is, whenever I or anyone else would ask to see the ultrasound pictures, she always had some sort of excuse. Either, “the doctors wouldn’t let me have them,” “I spilled water on them and have to get new copies,” etc. Around the time she *should* have delivered the baby, there was still no baby bump of any kind.
Long story short, she eventually admitted she and her husband made up the entire pregnancy and she wasn’t pregnant. She was in a bad place mentally and faked the pregnancy for sympathy, attention, etc. It was at that moment that I stopped believing anything she said unless there was some sort of verifiable proof, which leads me to…
* 2009, when she again began gaining weight. This time around, she even began to develop a baby bump. However, she and her husband swore there was no pregnancy. Despite the growing bump, there were no check-ups, ultrasounds or anything of the nature scheduled.
So imagine my surprise when in March, I get a phone call from my dad saying she had given birth to a son. I was flabbergasted because once more she lied through her teeth for nine months but this time around it was a total 180 in nature.
Unfortunately, her son was born with autism and to this day, I sometimes wonder if this is because she didn’t go to any sort of OBGYN check-ins. On the other hand, I feel she did take every precaution this time around and was just given a bad hand.
To add insult to injury, she actually appeared on an episode of TLC’s *I Didn’t Know I was Pregnant.* When she told me the producers accepted her story, she asked if I’d be willing to be on camera for interview soundbites. I flat-out refused and told her to not involve me in any of it, because I am fairly certain she indeed knew she was pregnant.
It goes without saying that my sister and I no longer have the best of relationships.
#8
Source: DullPiano8498, am
#9
Source: ScalyPig, energepic.com