When a Reddit user asked the online community, "What's the weirdest thing you've done while your brain was on autopilot?", many people came together to share the weirdest things they have done while the brain stopped working. Below are some of the funniest stories we have collected. Scroll down and check them out. Don't forget to share your experience with us in the comment.
Source: robottle4
#1.
I tried to put a pacifier in my mother's mouth as opposed to infant she was holding. The best part is that she was nagging the hell out of me.
Source: Msshadow
#2.
Pulled into my complex, walked up the stairs, my keys wouldn't open the door and then I realized it had been seven years since I had lived there.
Source: anon
#3.
My husband and I had an inside joke. Whenever someone lost something, the other person always asked, "have you checked inside your butt?"
I was in a meeting at work (conservative and traditional corporate office) one day and a coworker said, "I can't find my pen." Without any thought or hesitation I quickly responded, "have you checked inside your butt?" As soon as I said it, I snapped back to reality and realized I was at work. As you can imagine, everyone went silent and stared at me as my face turned bright red.
Source: glitterphobia
#4.
Someone knocked on the bathroom stall door to check if it was available. I said come in.
Source: IAmMrsnowballs
#5.
Spent ages cooking dinner only to pick the plate up and empty it straight into the bin. I was so tired and hungry, I cried
Source: jefferlewpew
#6.
I feed my cat while I make breakfast. One very sleep deprived morning I made cereal in her bowl and put her kibble in my cereal bowl. I didn't realize I f****d up until I shoved a giant spoonful of cat food in my mouth and chewed a few times.
Source: punkterminator
#7.
Had a pet rat out roaming with me while I made some toast. cleaned up, put the rat in the fridge and didn't realise until I put the butter in the cage that *oh s**t* - Went to reclaim the rat, she was all "F**k off, the food box is MINE now". Already gotten into the ham.
Source: Taleya
#8.
I ordered a meatlong football from subway. I then got upset when the dude had no idea what I wanted. - Then we both laughed.
Source: SalletFriend
#9.
33 weeks pregnant, at work ALL day, super hungry when I got off work. Stopped by the store to pick up some things, water broke in the middle of the aisle so I called my husband to tell him to meet me at the hospital, but then I kept f*****g shopping until I had my very wanted food. Got in my car (labor had started slightly by now), drove home and made my food. Husband called an hour later... suddenly remembered my water had broken at the store, drove myself to the hospital and had our first son. Food was my mission, baby on the way was not getting in the way of those f*****g tacos apparently.
Source: Cantsleep2184
#10.
Cleaning up my face with electric clippers. Thought, "Oh, missed a spot." and proceeded to shave off my f*****g eyebrow.
Source: hotmaleescort
#11.
one time, one of the kids asked for... s**t i don't even remember what. probably asked for a sandwich or something. on autopilot(i was tired and sick) i go into the kitchen, got a bowl out of the cabinet, sliced up a bunch of ham, put that in the bowl, poured in apple juice, stuck a slice of toast and a teabag on top and handed it to him with a steak knife.
kiddo was smart. he watched me do all that, took the bowl and knife, said 'thank you', put it on the table and went and got my wife and said 'daddy's super tired' and showed her what i'd done.
she put me to bed after that.
Source: buttery_shame_cave
#12.
I cared for a horse for several years.
First thing in the morning I would go put feed and water in the field, lead her out, and close the fence behind her.
One morning as I'm walking back into my house, I hear a weird sound behind me. The sound of hooves on linoleum. - She looked as surprised as I was that I had brought her into my kitchen. Luckily, she never told anyone so my secret is still safe.
Source: anon
#13.
Meeting my brother's in-laws for the first time. They asked me what my name was. I said "Pete". My name is Tiffani.
Source: tiffaniac
#14.
Was at my fiances house for dinner. Had to leave early. Was in a rush. Kissed her dad on the way out.
Source: ferretR*pe
#15.
I sleepwalk once in a while. Recently I got up at 2am and fed the dog. My girlfriend woke up and was like "wtf, did you just feed the dog? What time is it?"
Apparently I looked her in the eye and said "everyone loves a midnight snack."
Source: anon
#16.
Someone knocked at my door and i knocked back...
Source: anon
#17.
Had been playing a lot of skyrim recently and was walking to the bus stop and saw a patch of clover. Started towards it and thought to myself....i should harvest those, i could use some potion ingredients. Immediately thought to myself, wtf brain, w'ere outside.
Source: rusty_L_shackleford
#18.
Loaded up my toothbrush with toothpaste and proceeded to brush my hair with it instead of my teeth
Source: em_hoo
#19.
I drove a city bus in college. My route and my commute home had a road that overlapped. Driving home from work one night I ended up doing my bus route instead of my commute home and didn't realize it until I ended up in the bus terminal at the end of the line. I guess it was better than driving into my apartment complex with the city bus.
Source: JetDrew
#20.
Poured orange juice instead of milk into my cereal, put the bowl of cereal into the fridge, walked back to the table with nothing wondering where the f**k I put my cereal.
Source: Aurora320