To avoid any issues, parents may need to approach their young children with extreme caution and tiptoe. Yes, we want kids to mature into strong, compassionate people, but we can't always allow for meltdowns before school or on the way to soccer practice. It's best to choose your battles on some days.
Nevertheless, even when they have the greatest of intentions, parents occasionally make innocent, amusing errors. We've collected some of the most chaotic and hilarious stories from the Today I [Messed] Up subreddit to highlight all the significant blunders that loving parents experience in life. People may gather in this group, which has over 18 million members right now, and connect over the times they really wished they had a time machine.
#1
Source: rectanglerefuge
When they’re young we tell them Santa brings every boy and girl a present on Halloween and the more candy you leave him, the better a present he’d leave in exchange. When the kids get old enough to realize Santa is a hoax, that’s when we start paying in cash. 25 cents per piece.
Did this with our oldest two and it worked great. They’d give up about 3/4 of their candy and buy a toy. Our third child is 8 this year so called us out on the Santa thing. We explained the new deal.
He said “So then it’s my money and I can buy whatever I want with it? A new skateboard even? Anything?” “You bet.” “Swear?” “Yep.”
He goes and brings us all his candy. Even every Kit Kat, his favorite. I was shocked, but he’d been saving up for a skateboard for a bit so must’ve decided to go all in to push his savings over the edge. Getting all the sugar out of his room was a best case scenario, easiest $31.75 I’d spent all week.
Next day I brought the candy to work. Then we went to Walmart after school and the kids ran to pick out their stuff. We met at the check out. There’s my son, who has raided the clearance aisle and found two hundred Kit Kats for $10.00.
I started to tell him to put it back, but he said “What? You said I could buy whatever I wanted! You swore! I want my candy back then.” His candy had already been eaten by my coworkers. And I did swear, and we put a lot of emphasis on the importance of keeping your word.
So... my son has almost twice as much candy as he would have from just keeping his trick or treating... and a new skateboard. I don’t know who’s more p*ssed, my wife that this plan backfired so horrifically, or his older brothers that they never thought to do this.
#2
Source: Magnetickiwi1
My oldest daughter (6 F) is unimpressed that I'm not complimenting her so she jumps down from the climbing frame to talk to me.
“Dad, you have got to stop saying racist things all the time,” she says to me loud enough for all the other parents in my immediate vicinity to hear.
I gulp and look around feeling awkward, the stares of judgment from the other parents bearing down on me.
“What do you mean honey, what have I ever said that was racist?”
“You always turn everything into a race and I don't like it,” she replies.
Bless her little innocent heart.
#3
Source: nastyblasty904
Here’s where the FU comes in. This is 2 hours ago as of posting this. My kid is taking a bubble bath. LOTS OF BUBBLES. Admittedly, I put too much in. But he’s loving it regardless. I can't see through the thick bubble barrier to the tub bottom. Unbeknownst to me, the kid has shit in the tub. Found out he had corn at daycare today. No grunts, groans, or farts when he let it out.
I am letting him fill up his water cup and dump it all over my head and face. Even put some water in my mouth and spat it back at him. Pure joy. I drain the tub and realize what has happened.
I AM UNCLEAN. No amount of tooth brushing or showers can rid me of this disgust.
#4
Source: cbelt3
Well, he’s a pretty clever dude and knew all my hiding places, so I put it someplace he would never look.
Except I suffered a TBI [traumatic brain injury] a few years earlier and I forget stuff. So when he did his homework and asked for it back after a week, I… could not find it. Aargh. I looked everywhere.
Narrator: Obviously not everywhere...
Then we moved... And I still didn’t find it.
SpongeBob: 18 YEARS LATER...
I was donating some coats I had not worn in a long time. And in the pocket of a Viennese trench coat from the 1930s, I found... his Gameboy Advance. And turned it on. And it WORKED. Pokémon appeared.
I put fresh batteries into it and handed it to my 28-year-old son. Who proceeded to laugh for a good five minutes. Then played it for a few hours. Then proceeded to tell my wife and other adult children how silly I was.
#5
Source: ThrowawayyyholeAd4
I’m upstairs, grab one, see my daughter, think I can outsource this.
Me: “honey can you go give this to mommy?” Her:”what is this?” Me:”its a tampon for mommy” Her:”why?” Me:”its for her period to stop the bleeding” Her, alarmed:”she’s bleeding?! Where?” Me, idiot:”oh its ok she’s just bleeding from her vagina, its normal, her period, one day you’ll have it too” Wife, screaming from downstairs:”i need the tampon its bad this time!!” Daughter, instant bawling:”oh my gaaawwd Mommy’s bleeding from her vagina! Aaaahhh call the police please daddy make her vagina stop bleeding I don’t want her to die! I don’t want my vagina to bleed! I don’t want to die!”
Been 20 minutes, daughter still sobbing at thought of death by period. Only just got my wife the damn tampon.
Great.
#6
Source: ausmomo
We were at the dinner table eating pizza when I asked my son Logan if I could use some of his blue cheese dressing to dip my crust. He obliged after a long deep sigh of annoyance. I was offended at this reaction and decided to remind him of the strenuous labor and delivery I had bringing his 9.9-pound body into this world—the old “I gave birth to you” guilt trip. His response: “Really Mom, how long are you gonna ride that scooter?” —Karly Molleberg.
#7
Source: Vivid-Golf
#8
Source: sothishappened2
We attend a small church in south Mississippi where small children usually sit with their parents during mass. I was so proud of our two year old that day because being quiet during the sermon. Toward the end of the sermon the preacher—my dad—began raising his voice to accentuate his main points. Our little diva stood up and yelled, “Calm down Pawpaw!” Everyone in the church, including my dad, took a moment to laugh. —Cera Thompson
#9
Source: Emoretal
My great-nephew is five years old and loves sports, yet he was amazed when he visited his friend’s house and realized they were hunters. There he saw antlers, mounted deer heads, and shotguns. He came home all excited. “Mom, for Christmas I want a bow and arrow or a gun!” he said. “I’m sorry, buddy,” his mom replied, “but we’re just not hunting people.” “Oh, I don’t want to hunt people, Mom,” he said. “I want to hunt animals.” —William Livers
#10
Source: ubernatural
After moving to the country, my three-year-old daughter and I were often alone in our house. Because we lived in a rural area with no close neighbors, I wanted to make sure my daughter would be able to call 911 in the event that something happened to me. After instructing her, I decided to test her: “OK, what would you do if you found me on the floor and you couldn’t wake me up?” I could see her little brain working. To my surprise she finally said, “I would go into the kitchen and eat anything I want.” —Laura Albrecht
#11
Source: Rebuildingz
Babysitting my two great-granddaughters, ages three and four, I read them stories and then, needing a break, I suggested they watch cartoons for a while. As they were engrossed in their show, I decided to relax and finish a book I had been reading. The four-year-old kept looking over at me and finally asked, “Nana, what are you doing?” I told her I was reading my book. Looking puzzled, she said, “but you’re not saying anything.” —Patricia Spillman
#12
Source: borgeron
I was outside pruning my roses when I heard a loud thump and a cry. I ran to find my four-year-old son, Alex, at the bottom of the stairs in the garage. I found out that he had jumped from the top of the stairs, trying to fly like Peter Pan. After a long talk about reality versus make-believe, I walked away feeling I had gotten my point across. That was until I head my son whisper, “Must not have been enough pixie dust!” —Sharlene Landau.