Like lint (or the speed thereof—I just dated myself with that comparison), lying is something that people occasionally do without fully understanding why, how, or when it occurs. or begins to.
Lying, or the act of deceiving, serves a variety of purposes, including the desire to protect oneself or others, occasionally the desire to cause harm, occasionally the desire for amusement, but most importantly, many people think that lying encourages and develops imagination and creativity, especially in children.
But occasionally—occasionally—lies simply go a little bit too far, intensifying to levels that no one could have predicted (although perhaps they could have if they had already been burnt), with the liar then potentially facing the repercussions and discussing them in a popular AskReddit discussion.
I felt terrible about this as I thought it was because he stole the chocolate and was some form of punishment. The next day she brings home more chocolate. Nobody told me that it was for Duncan’s own good that he was taken to the vet. So feeling bad for doing this to Duncan, I give him my chocolate this time thinking he deserved it after taking one for the team last time. Later that night my mom asks me how the chocolate was, this time I decided to tell the full truth and explained that I gave the chocolate to Duncan this time as I felt bad for getting him in trouble the first time. So another late night trip to the vet, and I finally was told that chocolate is toxic for dogs. Duncan was fine in the end, and for the rest of his life I snuck him meat and other things that would not kill him.
Now the twist is that the very expensive vets trips cost a lot of money, which prompted my mom to take a look at our expenses. She found that the then step-dad was hiding an affair, and then got a divorce.
TL;DR: I lied about our dog almost dying, then almost killed him on accident, causing my mom to get divorced.
Later, I heard that when she got home, she found ambulances around her house because her father had died falling out of a tree doing yard work. I kept imagining that if I had given her the quarter, her dad would have come to get her instead of continuing yard work. If I had given her a quarter, maybe she would still have a father.
Turns out she got pregnant and asked me to go to an abortion clinic with her. Her boyfriend scrammed. We are best of friends now.
Anyway, I told him if he jumps out of the tree onto the trampoline, he can get into the club. He jumped and jarred his knee. He screamed blue murder. There was no club. There was no entry test.
The injury plays up till this day. It affected him when he was playing gridiron (he had to give it up), it affected him when he joined the army and again when he become a cop. I’m worried one day he dies because of that knee and I’ll blame myself for it.
[FYI:] Gridiron = American football. I’ll never make that mistake again. When I said I’m afraid he’ll die because of his knee, I meant in some kind of job related incident. I know where he works as a police officer there are a lot of violent bogans (the worst kind of bogan).
Reza, The young middle eastern guy who managed the store got to know us fairly well, in that we would always greet eachother and occasionally if he saw their stocks of 1% gallons running low he would store one in the back for us because he knew we would always come in at like 2 pm every Sunday for milk. Really nice guy.
The week before we took a vacation, the girlfriend was studying her a*s off for her exam, so I did the grocery shopping alone. Because we were leaving mid week for our trip, I only bought a half gallon of milk.
Of f*****g course Reza assumes the worst. He assumes that we've broken up. He asked where she was and I just kind of grumbled, ready to launch into explaining how her test was tomorrow and whatnot, but before I could he just launched into this whole big apology like he didn't realize and how he just got divorced and how he misses her every day....I just didn't have the heart to tell him that she was just busy today, and that we were leaving for the week so I just went with it.
I didn't want my gf to think I was a s**tbird, so I neglected to tell her when I got home.
Two weeks later, (coincidentally the gf is busy working a weekend shift to make up for our week off) I go back in, grab a gallon of 1%, and quickly realize that looks bad, so I turn around, put the gallon back, and grabbed the half gallon. The whole time Reza is watching me, dejectedly. He starts telling me it gets better, hang in there, we can grab coffee if I want to talk. I politely decline, and quickly realize this lie is going to spiral out of control real fast. I think I told the gf that they were out of gallons and Reza didn't save us one this week.
In the ensuing weeks, I proceeded to make all efforts to buy milk when the gf wasn't around. She still didn't know. I "decided to start working out", so I was able to justify to Reza the purchase of a gallon of 1%. We would normally chat for a few minutes and we would ask each other how things were and We would both give vague answers and wish each other well and be on our way.
Eventually, one day the gf goes to 7-11 on her own when I wasn't around. I guess Reza helped her, made small talk, but was definitely weird towards her. She texts me about it and at this point I knew the jig was up and I had to come clean. When I get home I explain everything to her, and she laughs, calls me an idiot, but at the same time thought it was cute for me to keep up the facade and commiserate with Reza, who was clearly dealing with some of his own issues.
She decided that we needed to stage a reunion. So the following Sunday, we waltzed in, arm in arm, looking cheery. We could feel his eyes following us around the room, I made eye contact with him once or twice, he was trying desperately and failing to hold back the biggest knowing grin I've ever seen. Finally we go to check out and he starts wringing his hands and finally bursts out about he was rooting for us and how happy he was that we worked it out.
The look of excitement and happiness on Reza's face was probably one of the most uplifting moments I've ever had. He told us repeatedly how we give him hope and how not the whole world is evil... holy c**p.
Glad we could help you Reza, sorry I lied about the milk.
Lying, or the act of deceiving, serves a variety of purposes, including the desire to protect oneself or others, occasionally the desire to cause harm, occasionally the desire for amusement, but most importantly, many people think that lying encourages and develops imagination and creativity, especially in children.
But occasionally—occasionally—lies simply go a little bit too far, intensifying to levels that no one could have predicted (although perhaps they could have if they had already been burnt), with the liar then potentially facing the repercussions and discussing them in a popular AskReddit discussion.
#1 Dog eats chocolate = mom gets a divorce
Source: BriceWithRice, GRVO TV
I felt terrible about this as I thought it was because he stole the chocolate and was some form of punishment. The next day she brings home more chocolate. Nobody told me that it was for Duncan’s own good that he was taken to the vet. So feeling bad for doing this to Duncan, I give him my chocolate this time thinking he deserved it after taking one for the team last time. Later that night my mom asks me how the chocolate was, this time I decided to tell the full truth and explained that I gave the chocolate to Duncan this time as I felt bad for getting him in trouble the first time. So another late night trip to the vet, and I finally was told that chocolate is toxic for dogs. Duncan was fine in the end, and for the rest of his life I snuck him meat and other things that would not kill him.
Now the twist is that the very expensive vets trips cost a lot of money, which prompted my mom to take a look at our expenses. She found that the then step-dad was hiding an affair, and then got a divorce.
TL;DR: I lied about our dog almost dying, then almost killed him on accident, causing my mom to get divorced.
#2 “Um, we can’t go… birthday, yah, that’s right, birthday…”
Source: Scrappy_Larue, Studio Sarah Lou
#3 The phone call of fate
Source: _zero_, amboo who?
Later, I heard that when she got home, she found ambulances around her house because her father had died falling out of a tree doing yard work. I kept imagining that if I had given her the quarter, her dad would have come to get her instead of continuing yard work. If I had given her a quarter, maybe she would still have a father.
#4 yeah, i heard everything (inside: oh no, gonna need to adlib now)
Source: leftoverrice54, Fred Jala
Turns out she got pregnant and asked me to go to an abortion clinic with her. Her boyfriend scrammed. We are best of friends now.
#5 The price you have to pay just to join a club
When I was little, maybe 6 or 7 years old, and I was playing with my cousin. He was/is my best friend, even if we have grown apart in the last few years.
Anyway, I told him if he jumps out of the tree onto the trampoline, he can get into the club. He jumped and jarred his knee. He screamed blue murder. There was no club. There was no entry test.
The injury plays up till this day. It affected him when he was playing gridiron (he had to give it up), it affected him when he joined the army and again when he become a cop. I’m worried one day he dies because of that knee and I’ll blame myself for it.
[FYI:] Gridiron = American football. I’ll never make that mistake again. When I said I’m afraid he’ll die because of his knee, I meant in some kind of job related incident. I know where he works as a police officer there are a lot of violent bogans (the worst kind of bogan).
#6 Who knew the easter bunny is a plumbing expert
Source: VelvetTush, Ranjan Gupta
#7 The 1% of milk says it all
Source: Chahles88,Ben Schumin
Reza, The young middle eastern guy who managed the store got to know us fairly well, in that we would always greet eachother and occasionally if he saw their stocks of 1% gallons running low he would store one in the back for us because he knew we would always come in at like 2 pm every Sunday for milk. Really nice guy.
The week before we took a vacation, the girlfriend was studying her a*s off for her exam, so I did the grocery shopping alone. Because we were leaving mid week for our trip, I only bought a half gallon of milk.
Of f*****g course Reza assumes the worst. He assumes that we've broken up. He asked where she was and I just kind of grumbled, ready to launch into explaining how her test was tomorrow and whatnot, but before I could he just launched into this whole big apology like he didn't realize and how he just got divorced and how he misses her every day....I just didn't have the heart to tell him that she was just busy today, and that we were leaving for the week so I just went with it.
I didn't want my gf to think I was a s**tbird, so I neglected to tell her when I got home.
Two weeks later, (coincidentally the gf is busy working a weekend shift to make up for our week off) I go back in, grab a gallon of 1%, and quickly realize that looks bad, so I turn around, put the gallon back, and grabbed the half gallon. The whole time Reza is watching me, dejectedly. He starts telling me it gets better, hang in there, we can grab coffee if I want to talk. I politely decline, and quickly realize this lie is going to spiral out of control real fast. I think I told the gf that they were out of gallons and Reza didn't save us one this week.
In the ensuing weeks, I proceeded to make all efforts to buy milk when the gf wasn't around. She still didn't know. I "decided to start working out", so I was able to justify to Reza the purchase of a gallon of 1%. We would normally chat for a few minutes and we would ask each other how things were and We would both give vague answers and wish each other well and be on our way.
Eventually, one day the gf goes to 7-11 on her own when I wasn't around. I guess Reza helped her, made small talk, but was definitely weird towards her. She texts me about it and at this point I knew the jig was up and I had to come clean. When I get home I explain everything to her, and she laughs, calls me an idiot, but at the same time thought it was cute for me to keep up the facade and commiserate with Reza, who was clearly dealing with some of his own issues.
She decided that we needed to stage a reunion. So the following Sunday, we waltzed in, arm in arm, looking cheery. We could feel his eyes following us around the room, I made eye contact with him once or twice, he was trying desperately and failing to hold back the biggest knowing grin I've ever seen. Finally we go to check out and he starts wringing his hands and finally bursts out about he was rooting for us and how happy he was that we worked it out.
The look of excitement and happiness on Reza's face was probably one of the most uplifting moments I've ever had. He told us repeatedly how we give him hope and how not the whole world is evil... holy c**p.
Glad we could help you Reza, sorry I lied about the milk.
#8 The bullying never stops, or does it?
Source: Alk3PrivateEye,Heidi
Once when I was a kid I invited a kid that I bullied horribly over to my house for a sleepover because I was told I had to do something nice for someone I hurt by our priest during confession (I went to a catholic school).
The next day after a pretty boring night we were playing in the snow banks and I lied telling him my foot was stuck and I couldn't get it out, he ran well over a mile back to my house to get my mom to "save" me... well that kind of woke me up and made me realize "this kid isn't that bad." After that day I never bullied anyone again, and 20 years later that turd that I bullied so terribly is still my best friend, was the best man at my wedding, and the godfather of my first child.