#1
Lastly, it is NOT the responsibility of a flight attendant to lift >your< bag. There are multiple injuries caused from flight attendants lifting heavy bags to be friendly, and then they're out of the job for months to a year (on average). If you pack it, you lift it. If it's too heavy for you, it's too heavy for us.
Happy flying, ya'll!
#2
There are sometimes body parts in the storage area near your luggage ( when they are flying transplants for hospitals). Also your pets are In the same area as well.
#3
Tray tables are rarely if ever sanitized do not put food directly on them.
#4
If you p**s off the cabin crew they will fart on you. The pressure on aircraft makes you naturally gassy and it's easy to puff one off in the face of an annoying git while bending down to speak to someone on the opposite side of the aisle.
#5
I used to work with elderly people and one of my clients was a former pilot that finally quit when he realized in the middle of a flight his dementia had progressed and he couldn't remember where he was supposed to be flying to. Meaning he had been flying for a commercial airline with dementia for quite some time before that.
#6
I'm not a flight attendant but I work the ramp. To elaborate on the body parts we send full bodies on planes alot. Some in caskets some not. Twice in the 7 years I've been doing this has "fluid" leaked out of the boxes the bodies are in and got all over the luggage.
#7
Airplanes fly "broken" more often than not... Dated a chick who was a FA and had a brother that was a flight mechanic at Sky Harbor, in Phoenix. They told some crazy stories about planes that flew with stuff that may or may not have been functioning properly. The duct tape game is strong.
#8
I'm in this job for about nine years now and worked for two mayor german airlines. Over the years I recognized that many passengers don't know why they have to do the things we are telling them. Why do I have to open the windowshades for takeoff and landing?
Because during the flight we (the FA) are inside the cabin almost the whole time and we are aware of what is happening outside. But during takeoff and landing we have to sit on our jumpseats and are not able to see whats going on outside. So, if for example an enginefire occurs, we are related to the passengers telling us.
Why do I have to fold away my traytable and have to bring my seat in an upright position? Because in case of an emergencylanding you or the passenger sitting behind you would not be able to take your/his bracingposition correctly
Why are the FA's dimming the cabinlight for takeoff and landing when it's dark outside? In case of an evacuation you have to leave the plane quite quick. If the light in the cabin would be bright, and you leave the plane during night, you would be blinded by the darkness. So we're dimming the light inside that your eyes are able to get accustomed to the darkness.
These are questions I hear almost every week. I hope I was able to lighten up some things for you guys.
#9
* There isn't as much CCTV as you may think
* We can often be working 6 days in a row on minimum rest, treat us nicely please
* We have to ask the captain to remove you from the flight if you're being an a*****e. They will say yes.
* Even on the smaller aircraft, crew will find a place to sleep.
* Someone has probably thrown up on the floor by your seat.
#10
An airplane can fly with one engine, and if an engine catches on fire, they have the means of extinguishing it while in air.
#11
3 consecutive dings over the loud speaker means you're probably going to die.
#12
Dated a former Air Hostess, the story that got me was when an old woman died on the plane, just fell asleep on the long-haul overnight flight back from JFK to Manchester and never woke up.
Essentially they wrapped her in spare blankets and secured extra seat belts around her to keep her in place... Nobody further down the plane knew a thing until they got asked to wait in their seats while an ambulance crew took the body off before they could disembark.TL:DR - Passengers might *not* know someone died on the flight and is still in their seat!
#13
Everyone knows that you can lift arm rests between seats for cuddling or whatever but armrests next to the aisle don't lift. Well, you can lift them. There is a button underneath that releases a catch so that you can lift the armrest. Useful for getting in and it while the food tray is down.
You can lock and unlock a lavatory door from the outside. The switch is under the metal plate next to the occupied sign.
#14
If I tell the pilot " I don't feel safe with passenger in seat 35A" you can and most likely will be removed from the plane. So think twice before acting like a complete utter jackass on the plane. Standard jackass behavior is usually tolerated.
#15
A flight attendant told me that in the event of a situation where passengers have to cover their heads you do not 'lock' your fingers over head but place one hand on top of the other. If something falls on your hand/head, you'll still have one good hand to use.
#16
Yes, on trans-oceanic flights there is a cabin for crew to get some sleep. No, you won't be invited in for fun times. On some newer planes there's also a hold for people who have died on the flight. No, you won't be invited in for fun times either.
If a meal service is on offer go for the kosher option, so you know it was prepared that day.
#17
She loved to party as did a lot of her coworkers and were often hungover or "out of it" on flights. Even though pay was s**t, their union made it very hard to get fired so call-offs were kind of no-big-deal.
#18
My late mom was a Delta "stewardess" for 33 years. She used to tell awesome PG stories, and I'm sure she had a hundred more that were unfit for my innocent ears. Like any kid, I never really paid attention, but most of the ones I remember were about famous and / or drunk people. Or famous drunk people.
One common story was about the Delta miracles. Passengers in wheelchairs would board the plane before everyone else, but they had to wait for everyone else to disembark before they could get rolled out. It is apparently common for people to be "healed" during mid flight and no longer need assistance when they reach their destination.#19
- Rubbish bags are referred to as gash bags.
- If you're on a short or mid haul flight then most airlines just have an hour or so turnaround, for 'cleaning' and security checks, and the same crew will then man the flight home.
- The 'cleaning' on these turnarounds isn't too thorough, a quick mop and Hoover is about it usually. Sometimes we went through with bug spray on certain routes.
- It was fairly common for people to leave phones, tablets, wallets etc in seat pockets which we would then find during security checks on turnaround. We can't take them back to the base airport due to security so they get handed over to a dispatcher with paperwork. We've just got to hope the dispatcher doesn't pocket them.
- Don't leave dirty nappies, used needles or anything else with bodily fluids in your seat pocket. You'd probably be surprised to find out how often this happens. Not only is it gross but it's also a health hazard.
- That's not water on the floor in the bathroom, put your bloody shoes back on.
- We know if you're having nookie in the bathroom, we can also open the doors, easily, from the outside.
- You get pissed quicker on board due to the air pressure (or something) and we don't tolerate drunken b******t. It's not a bar, you don't just get thrown out by the bouncer. You get off loaded and possibly even black listed. If you're clearly steaming before we've even taken off then chances are you're not going to be going anywhere.
- Safety and security is the first priority onboard. Your comfort and happiness is just an added bonus.
- You haven't seen bad turbulence unless the overhead lockers have opened and you have bags falling down on top of you.
- In the event of a decompression you only have a few seconds before your brain starts being starved of oxygen. Get your oxygen mask on pronto.
- Do not inflate life jackets inside if the plane ditches in water. If the cabin starts to fill with water you'll be unable to swim down to the exit.
- There's special straps in the cockpit and the chair moves back from the controller in case you need to tie the pilot up and move him away.
- We have fire axes and extremely heavy emergency equipment on board and are to stop you entering the cockpit by 'any means necessary'
- If you pay for 'extra legroom' then be aware that some of these seats are by uncrewed emergency exits. If you have a disability or require an extension seat belt then we will have to move you for safety purposes.
- I crewed 737s and 757 aircrafts, short to midhaul, economy only. We took our breaks (when we could) in the tiny little galleys at the front and back of the aircraft. If you see those curtains pulled then please don't bother us unless it's actually an emergency. (Another beer IS NOT an emergency)
None of these are probably that interesting.
Edit: A few extras I thought I would add.
- I still remember the order of priorities in survival situations by: Pilots Like Wet Fannys. (Protection, Location, Water, Food)
- Colleagues of mine used to sell their stinky old used cabin shoes to foot fetishists on eBay. You can also sell your used, unwashed, tights.
- To any fellow crew out there, if you find yourself in an emergency situation where fire is present, whip off your nylon tights so your legs don't go up in flames.
- To any passengers out there, don't make the crew hate you. The farting thing mentioned in another comment is true.