Is there anything else that inspires as much conversation, thought, and decision-making as a pregnancy? Do we really go for it? What about some trendy unisex choices? Perhaps something with a unique spelling (why not insert a random "y" in the middle of a perfect name? ), or something traditional that honors a deeply loved ancestor or friend? Or, for some really famous people, how about a truly bizarre name?
To be honest, some
celebrities give their children extremely lovely names. For example, we appreciate Reese Witherspoon's choice of Ava, and Jen Garner made three great choices with Violet, Samuel, and Seraphina. But for every classic choice or new choice that some celebrities make, some are just flat-out wrong. Names that, if the child in question weren't the offspring of a celebrity, would result in a lifetime of people mistaking or fumbling with how the name is pronounced. Of course, certain names don't seem to even qualify as human baby names.
In this blunt post, we've curated 15 famous names that we believe should not be added to any baby name. If you are a fan of those celebs, hope you'll understand there is no hate, not a whit!
#1 Apple Martin
Source: @gwynethpaltrow
The daughter of Gwyneth Paltrow and Chris Martin, Apple Martin, has one of the most frequently mocked celebrity names of the 2000s. Gwyneth said to Oprah Winfrey at the time, "When we were first pregnant, her daddy said, 'If it's a girl, I think her name should be Apple.' It sounded so sweet, and it conjured such a lovely picture for me, you know. Apples are so sweet and they're wholesome and it's biblical, and I just thought it sounded so lovely."
#2 Barron Trump
Source: @baron.trump
There's something greedy about Americans who attempt to be classy by giving their child a name associated with European royalty. Barron Trump is a typical example of this type of name.
#3 Bluebell Madonna Halliwell
Source: @therealgerihalliwell
Geri Halliwell will always be one of our favorite Spice Girls, but her first child's name raises some interesting concerns. Her daughter's name is Bluebell Madonna, which makes us ponder why some flower names (Lily or Rose, for example) appear just charming but Bluebell seems a little odd.
#4 Diezel Braxton-Lewis
Source: @diezel.braxton
Toni Braxton's son, Diezel Braxton-Lewis, is a cool and trendy boy with an exceptionally great head of hair, according to his Instagram account. Diezel, as per spell check, is simply a misspelling of the word diesel, which seems like an unusual choice for a name.
#5 Diva Muffin Zappa
Source: @divazappa
We need to present Diva Muffin Zappa and her siblings, Moon Unit and Dweezil, a group award. Frank Zappa, the late rocker, was responsible for these painfully distinctive names and was a trendsetter in the celebrities-giving-their-kids-unusual-names field.
#6 Exa Dark Sideræl Musk
Source: @elonmusk.ab
If we were being mean, we'd say it's probably a good thing Elon Musk and Grimes have split up again so they don't have any more babies to call crazy names after, like poor little Exa Dark Sideræl. She's in for a lifetime of explaining how to pronounce Siderl (apparently it is sigh-deer-ee-el).
#7 Jermajesty Jackson
Source: @jermajestyjjackson
His uncle Michael may have been renowned as the King of Pop, but Jermajesty Jackson appears to be anything but royal. Jermajesty is the son of Jermaine, one of the original Jackson 5, and is currently attempting to create his own reputation in music.
#8 Moroccan Scott Cannon
Source: @mariahcarey
Nobody would expect Mariah Carey, who has always been a little out of the ordinary, to pick simple names for her twins with ex-husband Nick Cannon. However, we believe that the choice of Moroccan is unfortunate. Why Moroccan and not Morocco is a question that will never be answered, and Moroccan Cannon sounds like a weapon, which is just not a vibe.
#9 Moxie CrimeFighter Jillette
Source: @pennandtellerlive
Penn Jillette chose an unusual name for his daughter. Moxie CrimeFighter is her name. Penn revealed that he and his wife had "chosen her middle name because when she's pulled over for speeding she can say, 'But officer, we're on the same side. My middle name is CrimeFighter.'"
#10 North West
Source: @kimkardashian
North West may be on her way to being a tiny fashion icon or influencer, but we still think Kim Kardashian and Kanye West made a silly decision by giving her a directional name. It did, however, set the tone for the remainder of their baby names to follow the direction.
#11 Royalty Brown
Source: @missroyaltybrown
To be honest, we've never really forgiven Chris Brown for his past domestic abuse. So it may appear petty that we don't agree with his name choices for his children, which include Royalty for one daughter and Lovely Symphani for the other.
#12 Rumer Willis
Source: @rumerwillis
We're not sure which is worse: naming a child after a synonym for gossip or naming them after a synonym for gossip but misspelling it. In any case, it leads to Rumer Glenn Willis, the daughter of Bruce Willis and
Demi Moore.
#13 Tu Morrow
Source: @officialrobmorrow
Funny or punny names are entertaining to say the first time, but the child has to live with them for the rest of their life! So, yes, we're going to include actor Rob Morrow's choice of the name Tu for his daughter: Tu Morrow.
#14 X Æ A-12 Musk
Source: @grimes
When Elon Musk and his then-partner, musician Grimes, revealed that they'd named their child X A-12, almost everyone had the same reaction: a giant eye roll, followed by the obvious question, "How on earth is that pronounced?" Apparently, they just call him "X," which is the best option in that scenario.
#15 Zuma Nesta Rock Rossdale
Source: @gwenstefani
We love having two middle names. It's a fun way to use three favorite names, but Zuma Nesta Rock seems like a lot of names for one child, especially if that child is the child of two rock stars (Gwen Stefani and Gavin Rossdale).