Many of us undoubtedly had a lot more confidence when we were younger than we have today. We didn't overthink things; instead, we just spoke our thoughts and carried out our own desires. And braggadocio in public, whether at school, on the playground, or at home, differed greatly from humble-bragging at work or school. Children would flex about the most bizarre things.
#1
Source: kaz6199
"you need to have money if you want to marry my daughter".
I looked right into her eyes and without missing a beat reached into my little pockets and tossed her a penny. Her face priceless, my smirk flawless.
My game never peaked again.
#2
Source: sparksparksparkle
Me: oh, you’ve got a cold.
Him, solemnly: no, I think i’m a man now.
#3
Source: Ishnian
I hope for his sake his pick up lines improve.
#4
Source: anon,Ricardo Vergilio
My son answered dead serious, "I get the lollipop and you get my respect."
#5
Source: estrogyn,Caleb Woods
When my son was about 5 we went to visit relatives in the Washington, DC area. We were on the Metro when my son eyed a very pretty professional young woman. "I've got a lot of blocks," he told her. "If you come to my room I'll show you." Then he made motorcycle noises for about 10 seconds.
#6
Source: DeathHopper,shawnanggg
When my son was 5, a waitress at Applebees asked him how old he was, to which he exclaimed, "I'm 5 and I pooped today!" I think everyone within 4 tables of us was very impressed.
#7
Source: VincenzoSS,Jonathan Borba
I indeed cannot count to eleventy.
#8
Source: reddit.com,Terricks Noah
My son told me he doesn't need school because he already knows the name of 10 dinosaurs.
For anyone who wants to know, my son's favorite dino is the Spinosaurus.#9
Source: dark__star,Ashkan Forouzani
While leaving a family gathering, my cousin asked my little boy for a fist bump. My child refused, cousin said 'come on, why no fist bump?' My kid, 5 at the time, looks him straight in the eye and says 'I don't want to break every bone in your arm'.
#10
Source: yxe1982,Andrik Langfield
Me: “Ummmmm...about 4 years, 10 months, and 4 days.”
After a few moments of deep thought, I heard him say quietly and reverently to himself:
“...and I haven’t been bit by a single wild animal.”
Oh man. Still kills me.
#11
Source: sweetxexile,bruce mars
Had an Amber Alert hit my phone one night while my then 6yo was playing a game on it. She asks what that was and I explained it’s a message that gets sent out of a kid gets kidnapped. She looks at it again and sees it’s for a town over two hours from where we live. She then asks me why they sent to if it’s so far away. I said because they want everyone to look and find the kid, wouldn’t you want everyone to look if you got kidnapped? They want to find the kid so they don’t get killed. She leans over close to my ear and whispers “I’m very difficult to kill”
#12
Source: Gatorphan,Kenny Eliason
My 7 y/o daughter didn’t want our houseguests to go in her room because that might see her awards (good grades, tae kwon doe belts). She worried they would think she was famous.
#13
Source:psychotrshman,Heather Miller
My wedding day. The ring bearer (5yo) is meeting one of my groomsmen (19yo) for the first time ever. Ring bearer walks up, is introduced and he responds by going "I know where your nuts are. And, I'm the perfect height to just punch them!" Then he just stood there.
#14
Source: dearyoudearyou,Lance Reis
maybe 5, was sitting with him and pointed at a white hair and said “what’s this papa?” My friend said “oh it just means I’m getting old” and his son looked at him dead serious, looked at his brother and said “Well. I guess it’s just us and mom soon, huh?"
#15
Source: not_another_drummer,Ben White
My 7 year old said “ I know everything until you ask me a question”. Whelp, ... ok.